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Conan on USPS: ‘Please ignore the stench of death’

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Forget “neither snow, nor rain, nor gloom of night.” Conan O’Brien on Wednesday unveiled a blackly comic new motto for the flailing U.S. Postal Service — one suitable for its current financial death spiral:

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Smoke up, Johnny: USPS OKs mailing tobacco to troops

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Spc. Cory Ballinger of the U.S. Army's 82nd Airborne Division smokes a cigarette July 2 during a battle with militants near the village of Joikahr, Afghanistan/Chris Hondros, Getty Images

Know a GI in Iraq or Afghanistan who’s hurting for a smoke? Beginning Aug. 27, the U.S. Postal Service will once again allow customers to mail cigarettes and other tobacco products abroad to soldiers, Marines and other service members.

The Associated Press reports that after a law kicked in June 29 that sought to keep minors from ordering cigarettes, the Postal Service originally only allowed care packages with tobacco to be mailed via Express Mail. The problem was, Express Mail can’t be sent to some overseas locations like Iraq and Afghanistan, leaving soldiers out of luck. But in two weeks, the Postal Service will allow tobacco care packages through Priority Mail, which can be sent to military bases in other countries.

And while we’re at it, here’s a tune to brighten your Friday. Enjoy Tex Williams’ “Smoke Smoke Smoke (That Cigarette).”

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Federal Times on the air

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For those of you in the Washington area, I’ll be appearing on News Channel 8 this evening to discuss my story about a U.S. Postal Service executive who steered sole-source contracts to his business associates, and the questions some are raising about those deals. Tune into Federal News Tonight at 7:30 p.m. to see the interview.

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