Future NRC engineers? (from CBS' Big Bang Theory)

It seems like everybody’s got a new idea for attracting new talent to the federal government these days. But Jim McDermott, chief human capital officer of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, thinks he’s found a foolproof way to convince young engineers to come to his agency: Find them dates.

“There are incentives, and then there are incentives,” McDermott told a crowd of human resources officials at the HCMF Conference in Arlington, Va., earlier today. ”When we’re hiring, we say, ‘Is there a significant other in the picture?’ If there’s no significant other, I tell them, ‘We can help.’ ”

McDermott said his unorthodox recruitment pitch works because while nuclear engineers may know how to split atoms, they’re not quite so adept on the dating front:

McDermott

“Now, engineers study a lot in college,” McDermott said. “They neglect very important extracurricular activities. My girls went to school with engineers, [and] they said, ‘Dad, they don’t know how to dance, they don’t know how to dress, they don’t even know how to talk.’ ”

Engineers may not necessarily become better dancers by taking a job at NRC, but McDermott said they can meet other single engineers (who probably won’t roll their eyes at Star Trek or lectures on reactor cooling systems). McDermott said NRC’s dating scheme — which he jokingly called “NRC Harmony,” after the eHarmony online dating service — has so far resulted in about eight or nine weddings.

McDermott’s comments made me think of the sitcom Big Bang Theory, which features hopelessly nerdy theoretical physicists and their often-failed efforts to find romance. McDermott said he’s seen bits of the show, which hit close to home: “I thought I was watching something on the NRC.”

NASA's official Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill, or COLBERT, patch

What may be the most expensive consolation prize in NASA history will soon be aboard the International Space Station. A $5 million treadmill named for political satirist and faux TV pundit Stephen Colbert will be one of the first items unloaded this afternoon from a cargo container docked at the station, according to the Associated Press.

The Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill, now as elevated as its namesake’s ego, will soon be used by astronauts to stay healthy and strengthen their muscles in the zero-G environment.

Earlier this year, NASA started an online poll allowing Web site visitors to vote on a name for the space station’s latest module, Node 3. But NASA also allowed visitors to write in their own suggestion. That’s when Colbert implored the viewers of his Comedy Central program “The Colbert Report” to write his name in. And boy, did they — members of the Colbert Nation cast more than 230,000 votes for their hero, far more than the second-place choice, “Serenity.” *

Though Colbert won the vote fair and square, NASA instead chose to name Node 3 “Tranquility,” in honor of the 40th anniversary of the moon landing. Colbert was, of course, outraged at the subversion of democracy. But when astronaut Sunita Williams told him that a treadmill would instead bear his name, he quickly changed his tune. Video of the announcement after the jump:

 

 

* One other popular suggestion was to name Node 3 after Scientology diety and intergalactic alien overlord Xenu. NASA has apparently never commented on Xenu’s popularity, but Colbert sure did:

I also didn’t know EPA certified TV prizes, but according to this EPA press release the home has “earned EPA’s Indoor AirPlus and Energy Star labels.”

Federal Times does not endorse the views of Lewis Black, but we are a little excited about the screen time on the Daily Show.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM – Th 11p / 10c

•36 million potential trick-or-treaters. That’s how many kids between the ages of 5 and 13 are estimated to be in this country, but it doesn’t take into account immature adults — like this reporter — who might try to score some candy anyway. And those trick-or-treaters will visit…

•110 million occupied households in the United States.  All of which had better be stocked with something good, unless they like cleaning up eggs and toilet paper.

•Almost 1.1 billion pounds of pumpkins for jack-o’-lanterns and pie. And where should you go to find the perfect pumpkin to carve? Illinois, which grew 542 million pounds of pumpkin in 2007.

•24.5 pounds of candy. That’s how much the average American eats each year, but many trick-or-treaters will easily top that.

•And North Carolina seems to be the ideal state to celebrate Halloween. The Census Bureau points out that the Tarheel State is the home of Transylvania County, a city called Pumpkin Center, and not one, but two Cape Fears.

Sadly, the Census Bureau doesn’t estimate how many hapless trick-or-treaters might get the Charlie Brown treatment: rocks.