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10 ways to tell you have been a federal employee too long

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So lets have a little bit of fun today. It seems that every group, school and town is getting a list, so lets add federal employees to those groups! Feel free to add your own at the bottom of the blog.

1. When people shout “high five!” and your first thought is “over my dead body.

2. Jan. 1 doesn’t even hold a candle to Oct. 1. Its the cleanest slate you can imagine.

3. You give your children 180 days to respond to a new rule you are proposing. Corollary: You refer to your family as “stakeholders.”

4. You groan audibly when anyone starts an argument with the phrase “The government is like a household…”

5. Your position was eliminated months ago but you are still working at the office.

6. They don’t make service pins in denominations high enough to represent your years of service.

7. You remember the first push for more telework, and the second, and the third and the fourth …

8. Every year you write a Sammie speech you never get a chance to read.

9. You actually used to know a GS-3.

10. You brag about how many agencies you are older than. Although every fed gets one…

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  1. Cd in DC Says:
    March 14th, 2014 at 10:12 am

    you have to buy your own 25 year service pin. OUCH.

  2. CS Says:
    March 14th, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    You still have copies of old SF50s on onion skin paper.

  3. mentallect Says:
    March 14th, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    You can’t distinguish between your cubicle and your couch.

  4. Terrianne Says:
    March 14th, 2014 at 9:34 pm

    You worked for many years where they had GS-1s and had to fight management tooth and nail to get them upgraded.

  5. kdm Says:
    March 15th, 2014 at 12:11 am

    R.I.P is NOT death.

  6. CR in NC Says:
    March 16th, 2014 at 10:28 am

    9. You WERE a GS-3, after you started as a GS 2!

    11. You took your first oath of office when Gerald Ford was President.

    12. You were there before desktop computers, fax machines… (Lord I feel ancient now.)

  7. Sucka Says:
    March 16th, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    Your manager does a crappy job and is being replaced but instead of getting fired, he gets a promotion.

  8. Oldtimer Says:
    March 16th, 2014 at 9:06 pm

    You remember being told how easy you had it when starting out and now your telling all the newbies how easy they have it!

  9. Instruct56 Says:
    March 19th, 2014 at 8:56 am

    When the Government threatens RIF you smile and hope they hurry up and offer you VERAVSIP.

  10. Harry Sanchez Says:
    March 26th, 2014 at 11:22 pm

    You can actually remember, and anxiously await for the return of, 5% and above annual raise.

  11. Robert Falls Says:
    April 9th, 2014 at 8:25 am

    By the current comments: When you go to work each day to give your all for the job. That job being to support, defend and uphold the US Constitution and do the best job you can at your work. I wish Congress could do that and all of the Branches of the Federal Government and not just myself and the many others that do as I do each workday.