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10 ways to tell you have been a federal employee too long

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So lets have a little bit of fun today. It seems that every group, school and town is getting a list, so lets add federal employees to those groups! Feel free to add your own at the bottom of the blog.

1. When people shout “high five!” and your first thought is “over my dead body.

2. Jan. 1 doesn’t even hold a candle to Oct. 1. Its the cleanest slate you can imagine.

3. You give your children 180 days to respond to a new rule you are proposing. Corollary: You refer to your family as “stakeholders.”

4. You groan audibly when anyone starts an argument with the phrase “The government is like a household…”

5. Your position was eliminated months ago but you are still working at the office.

6. They don’t make service pins in denominations high enough to represent your years of service.

7. You remember the first push for more telework, and the second, and the third and the fourth …

8. Every year you write a Sammie speech you never get a chance to read.

9. You actually used to know a GS-3.

10. You brag about how many agencies you are older than. Although every fed gets one…


  1. sick-n-tired-fed Says:
    July 22nd, 2013 at 5:05 pm

    You cringe at the phrase “Close enough for Government work.”

  2. SoSad Says:
    July 23rd, 2013 at 8:33 am

    A GS9 with many years less service than you is temporarily promoted into a GS-12 position that they do not qualify for either with experience or TIG and even more so, is NOT even vacant yet!

  3. weezer Says:
    July 24th, 2013 at 8:05 am

    As a Grovernment worker you know the true meaning of “Fix it until it’s broke”.

  4. National Whistleblower Allen Carlton Jr. (OSC MA 93 1872) (USSC 99-565) Says:
    July 24th, 2013 at 10:02 am

    When you aid and abet Collusion / Terrorism in the American Holocaust.

  5. Old Guy Says:
    July 24th, 2013 at 10:04 am

    You know why your pay statement can be pronounced “LESS”.

  6. mary.smith Says:
    July 24th, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    close enough for government work, actually, was a standard to be achieved. it meant your result was high enough to be awarded a contract.

  7. Roy Says:
    July 26th, 2013 at 9:56 am

    You’re 95 and sitting behind the same desk issued to you 65 years ago.