The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has finally stopped wasting our time with swine flu and given us advice we can actually use: How to survive a zombie apocalypse.
CDC’s “Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse” blog — written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan — briefly discusses the history of zombies and the viruses that could cause the dead to rise and start snacking on brains. It then segues into serious advice on how to make an emergency kit and evacuation plan, which would also be useful for hurricanes, earthquakes and other non-undead emergencies.
But the blog gets really funny when it seeks to reassure us that CDC would have matters well in hand if there were a zombie outbreak. CDC said it would help cities, states and other nations with lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts with the infected, and quarantining those who have been exposed:
Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas. (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work.)
Oh, please. Anyone who saw the season finale of AMC’s “The Walking Dead” knows that [SPOILER ALERT] within a few months of the zombie apocalypse, CDC’s Atlanta staff will be down to just one alcoholic researcher, gradually succumbing to suicidal depression. Trust FedLine: You’d be better served by stocking up on baseball or cricket bats, axes and shotgun shells than waiting for CDC to save the day.
But there’s clearly a pent-up demand from the public for this kind of information: Zombie-related traffic crashed CDC’s public health blog Wednesday.
Elliot Volkman Says:
May 20th, 2011 at 1:50 pm
We are with you! Health kits are great, but they were missing some key tools. We added some government items like chainsaws and shotguns to the list: http://govwin.com/elliotsv_blog/cdc-releases-zombie-preparedness-guide/121254
Jon Burns Says:
May 20th, 2011 at 2:24 pm
The funny thing everybody is failing to grasp is that be leveraging the pop culture affinity to zombies right now and social media the CDC has made a relevant play for basic disaster planning that’s 1,000times more effective than any PSA ever could be.
That’s not a funny move by a government agency – that’s brilliant marketing.
Steven Blank Says:
May 20th, 2011 at 4:18 pm
One of the biggest problems with this country is that everybody relies on their government way too much. You honestly think that they’re gonna be there for the little people like you and me? Please they’re gonna do whatever is best for them and if that means taking their money and locking themselves away and wait for it to blow over thats what their gonna do so we need to grab those shotguns and shovels or whatever you can grab to defend yourself, because in the end you’re the only person you can rely on.
mark solis Says:
May 20th, 2011 at 4:56 pm
is this going to happen or what or is this just for preparing a natural disaster
May 20th, 2011 at 5:38 pm
I agree with Jon Burns. This was a great use of the internet by a government agency and it reached thousands that would have never heard the message by other means. Great Job!
Fedline » Survive the zombie apocalypse, the Army Times way Says:
August 5th, 2011 at 4:10 pm
[...] from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s own zombie preparedness guide, which we covered here in May. And the American Copy Editors Society today highlighted the excellent work done by our [...]
Rodrigo Formby Says:
August 14th, 2011 at 12:16 pm
coolsite.Thanks for showing us.
Khamora Dhyllian Says:
September 12th, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Zombies are real !